I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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