Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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