the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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