i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
