wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
