just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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