You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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