I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i need to put some appletini on your dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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