i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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