we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
