Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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