yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
