you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
