dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
