what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
