I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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