but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize