Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
