So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
