I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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