I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
