living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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