I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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