2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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