I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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