Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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