hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
