I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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