I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and she was petting her beer can
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
