I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
