The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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