I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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