The maid of honor just puked.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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