Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
