My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
