Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
