He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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