kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
