i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
