I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
