Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize