I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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