your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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