He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
