Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
