I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
