I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
