so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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