..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
