Me. At least after what I've been through.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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