Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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