Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
