You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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