EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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