Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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