I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
