"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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