this just has baby written all over it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
