i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
