Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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