she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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