I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
