Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
