In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
