There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
