i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
