Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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